Where it All Started

I am currently the only member of my immediate family in the United States.  My brother and sister-in-law have been in Costa Rica for a little over a year now working as Peace Corps volunteers, and last Friday my Mom, Dad, Sister, and Uncle got on a plane and headed down to Honduras for a week.  So that leaves me...the one member of the family with a Spanish degree, hanging out in an English speaking country while everyone else spends a week in Central America.

My parents have made the trip down to Honduras every Spring break except for one since I was in 7th grade.  I still remember my first trip to Honduras like it was just yesterday.  It's a miracle that I ever wanted to go back to that place.  I spent the first half of the week sick as a dog because I couldn't breathe which resulted in little to no sleep, somewhere towards the end of the week I fell down a tree and landed in a pile of glass and became the only medical emergency my parents treated all day in the medical clinic, and I finished off the week by catching a stomach bug and not being able to keep anything down for 24 hours.  And yet, for some reason I LOVED IT!  

I came back from Honduras that year and I couldn't wait to go back.  I couldn't wait to go back and see the kids that I fell in love with during that short week.  I couldn't wait to go back and see how the church that we had helped build had grown.  I couldn't wait to go back and see families living in the houses that we had built.  I couldn't wait to go back.

And so our family went back to Honduras, and we went back, and we went back, and we went back again, until somewhere along the line those Spring break visits started turning into short Summer trips.  Those short Summer trips started turning into ALL Summer trips followed by Christmas visits.  Those trips ended up turning into a girl going to college and majoring in Spanish and spending a whole semester in Honduras.

And that semester in Honduras played such a pivotal role in my desire to enter into youth ministry.  It's amazing how God used a Spring break trip when I was a 7th grader to shape 13 or 14 years later where I would be.  He has a way of working things out in such beautiful ways.

Had my parents not taken Braden, Brennan, and me on that trip 13 years ago I think my life would look totally different.  

People often ask me what my home life was like growing up.  I get asked often by parents what my parents did to help shape my faith in God.  I tell them that I have two of the most loving parents that anyone could ever have.  I have been blessed beyond belief.  I tell them that I was encouraged and pushed to always do my best and dream big.  But I also tell people that my family was not one of those families that would sit down and talk a lot about our faith.  We would pray before meals together.  We would go to church together every week, but we didn't have a whole lot of casual conversations about our faith or about God.  BUT, I can also tell people that my parents lived out a beautiful story of loving and serving other people, and they challenged us to do the same.  I watched my parents put their faith into action, whether that be in Honduras or right down the street in the Luther Christmas project.  

But the BIGGEST thing my parents ever did to shape my faith was start taking us kids to Honduras when I was 12.  My parents challenged us to live a better story.  My parents opened our eyes to a world outside of the little Edmond bubble that I grew up in.  My parents opened doors for us to share our faith and grow in our beliefs.  My parents showed us kids the importance of loving and serving others.  My parents helped us to see what it looks like to love sacrificially and serve those in need.  I got to stand right beside my parents as we served our brothers and sister in Tegucigalpa. 

So when I look back to the biggest defining moment in my faith, I would pinpoint it to Honduras.  Not because it was thousands of miles away and poverty like I had never seen before, but because it opened up a door for me to live out my faith walking side by side with my mother and father, brother and sister.  I was able to watch how they interacted with the poor, sick, hurting, and starving people around them and learn from them what it looks like to love and serve others.  I learned that there is a world out there who is hurting and in need of not just physical things but also the Good News of Jesus (whether that be down the street in OKC or down in Honduras).

So my encouragement to parents is to find a way to serve with your kids.  It doesn't have to be a huge trip to another country, it could be just 5 minutes down the road.  Nothing will impact their lives more than serving alongside their parents.  There eyes will be opened to a whole new world, and they will be challenged to step outside of their comfort zone and live a bigger story.  I have been so incredibly blessed to have parents who have always been willing to serve in big and small ways , and I am so thankful for the times that they brought my siblings and me along to learn and to help.  They truly helped shape my life through their actions!   

A Few of my Favorite Moments

Rule #1...Never go on a retreat without temporary tattoos!!! 

So glad my teens have learned the value of a good nightgown!!!

Love these girls so so so very much!

First MSGC with my girls!  We laughed for hours and Morgan Goodlow showed us her excellent speed walking skills!

Back to School bash!

These sevies have been such a beautiful blessing to my life!

Spring Break in Haiti with my teens...what a blessing!

WINTERFEST!!!

Nightgown punishment for breaking dress code...it's more like a privilege!

Sevie Six Flags trip! Craziness in the hotel room!

Love Love Love her!

One of my all time favorite pictures...Gracie and I got stuck together!

Halloween Bowling with my beautiful girls!!!

I have been so incredibly blessed to spend my last three years with some of the most amazing teens!  I'm so thankful for all of the incredible relationships that I have been able to build!  I know that whoever comes along next will be so incredibly blessed to be a part of the PV youth group and grow with these incredible teens.  I trust that God is going to provide someone incredible to love and mentor these girls!

I have a feeling there will be quite a few more posts with lots of pictures like this between now and May 10.  Ahhhh, there are so many wonderful memories to recap!  I have been so incredibly blessed!

It ALL Hinges on This ONE Truth

One thing...If I could pick just one thing that I want my teens at PV to remember and believe it would be just 4 simple words.

About a month ago we took a group of teens to a youth rally in Russellville, AR.  The theme of the weekend was, When Death Dies.  Throughout the course of the weekend we heard from various speakers who shared their stories.  Most of them shared stories about losing someone who was really close to them, and how the resurrection of Jesus Christ gave and continues to give them hope.  There were so many powerful moments throughout the weekend, but one short 6 minute video and 4 little words brought the whole weekend together for me.  I walked away from CHRISTeens with 4 words engraved in my mind that I pray I will never forget.

These 4 words are so simple, yet so powerful.  My whole life hinges on my belief in the truth of this simple statement.  Everything that I believe hangs on these 4 words.  And if these 4 words are true, which I believe they are, it changes everything!

 The tomb is EMPTY! 

It is such a simple phrase.  To someone who doesn't know the story of Jesus those 4 words probably don't mean much, but to someone who knows scripture and believes in Jesus these 4 words mean everything! I don't think I have been able to go a day since CHRISTeens without thinking about that little phrase.

I was never very good at picking out the climax of a story in my English classes growing up.  To be honest I wasn't very good at anything that had to do with my English classes in school, but if I had to pick a climax of the Bible it would have to be the empty tomb!  Everything preceding the resurrection points to Jesus and his resurrection, and everything after the resurrection points back to Jesus and his empty tomb and how that affects eternity.

I'm not a doctor yet, but last time I checked people who are dead for 3 days don't just come back to life.  It just doesn't happen!  BUT our Savior defeated death and walked out of that tomb.  He did what none of us would ever be able to do for ourselves.  And now, everything that I believe hinges on the fact that when people went back to Jesus' tomb, He wasn't there.  The tomb was empty, and it is still empty today.  This is so much more than just a story.

The empty tomb has to be the foundation of every piece of our lives if we claim to follow Christ.  If Jesus wouldn't have risen from the dead He would just be another dead man.  He would actually be another dead man who was a big fat liar. He kept telling His disciples that He would rise after 3 days, and if that wouldn't have happened He would have been a complete hoax.  Praise God that what He predicted was completely true!  His resurrection is true!  His tomb is empty!

Jesus came and died on the cross, was buried, and after 3 days He rose from the dead, and that changes everything!  The empty tomb changes how I react to situations.  The empty tomb changes how I live my life on this earth.  The empty tomb helps me to remember that this life is temporary.  My Jesus is alive and He is coming back for me!  The empty tomb is my hope in times of pain and trial.  The empty tomb is my joy in the face of suffering.  The empty tomb is my peace when the waters rise.  The empty tomb is what I know to be true.

I pray that this good news will be something that I can't keep to myself.  People have to know that my Savior defeated death and is alive.  His tomb is empty!  There is hope!  There is real life!  There is peace! There is something better to come!!!

You have to click on this link and watch this video by Josh Ross...The Tomb Is Empty .  This short video has spoken powerfully to my heart.  It has been such a powerful reminder in my life over the last month! Really...Watch It!!!

^{Don't forget...He is coming back for us!!!} 

For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him.  Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

1 Thessalonians 5:9-11

This Roller Coaster of Emotions

So over the last few weeks I have sat down numerous times to try to write down some of the different thoughts and emotions that have accompanied my last few months.  Each time I have tried to put my thoughts together, I just haven't been able to express myself the way that I have wanted.  So, here's to hoping that the words to come in this blog are an adequate representation of the past month.

Since last August I have been wrestling back and forth with the idea of going back to school.  I was so incredibly fickle.  I know Casey had to be getting frustrated, although he was so incredibly patient with me!  On any given day he could ask me what the chances were that I was going to leave and the answer could be 95% chance one day and 5% chance the next day.  I knew that I wanted to go back to school at some point, but I just couldn't stand the idea of saying good-bye to my teens and families that I love so dearly here in Little Rock.  There were days when I would sit in my office and just think about going back to school and start crying because I just didn't feel like it was a good time to leave.  And then I would sit there and think well, next year won't be a good time to leave, and the group after that...I love them so much too, and then the next year won't be a good time to leave either.  And then came the realization that I finally had to come to...When you love these kids and families as much as I do...THERE WILL NEVER BE AN EASY TIME TO LEAVE.  

Throughout the whole year I felt like God just kept telling me, do what you want to do, as long as you're seeking to honor me I will use you no matter what you choose.  That gave me so much peace.  I knew that God was not limited by my vocation, and that as long as I was willing that He could use me no matter where I went.  So at the end of December I finally  made my final decision that I would be going back to school with the hopes of going to medical school.

Once my decision was made there was a weight that just seemed to be lifted off my shoulders...well at least for a few days.  There was a peace that came with making my decision that could only come from God.

Then came January and the realization that I was going to have to tell the people that I love so much that I would be moving in just a few short months.  There were so many thoughts running through my mind as the February 10th parents meeting approached.  Above all, I wanted my kids to know that I love them so incredibly much and that this decision was not made without tons of prayer, fasting, and tears.

I was fully anticipating the week before my announcement to be absolutely miserable.  The Sunday before I was planning on telling my PV family I almost had to walk out of church because I was getting so emotional.  That Sunday night I cried myself to sleep somewhere between 12-1 am. I truly thought, this is going to be the longest week of my life...but then something happened.

That Sunday night as I was lying in bed crying myself to sleep I decided that I needed to spend some time in the Word.  So I pulled out my Bible and opened it up and started reading.  Normally when it's 12:30 in the morning I don't think to myself...this would be a great time to read Exodus...but for some reason that night that was where I turned.  So, as I was reading through the story of the Israelites making their way out of Egypt my heart found a truth that I would find myself clinging to ALL week long.

As I read through the journey that the Israelites took, I found myself drawn to the image of God going before the Israelites in a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night.  He went before them and prepared the way.  He led them down the right path.  And in that moment, I found peace knowing that my God was already going before me and preparing the way.  That was the promise and the truth that I held on to all week long.

When I would start to get anxious or start to feel overwhelmed I remembered my God's promise that He would never leave me or forsake me.  I trusted that He was already going before me and preparing the way.  And that week...well sure it was still emotional, but I walked into that parents meeting on February 10th with a peace that surpasses all understanding, and a joy that can only come from our amazing God.

So since February 10th things have been up and down.  It has been a little bit of an emotional roller coaster.  I have felt sadness when I think about leaving PV and the people I love so much. I have also felt so much excitement about this next stage in my life and all the new and different opportunities that it brings.  I have felt incredibly blessed by so many people at Pleasant Valley who have poured so much love and encouragement into my life over the past month.  I have felt slightly overwhelmed as I have taken practice MCAT exams and tried to plan out how I am going to cram what feels like 100 different classes into the next year of my life.  I have felt a little anxious when I think about how I'm not going to have a job again until I am at least 30.  But above all, I have felt the peace of God.

So, I have two months left at Pleasant Valley before I head to OKC to start a different journey.  I don't know exactly what God has in store for me over the next few years, but I am so excited to find out.  I know that He will continue to go before me and prepare the way, and that He is already at work in ways that I can't even see.

If I had to sum up the last 9 months in one word...it would be BLESSED!  God has showed me over and over again through the ups and downs of the last 9 months that He has blessed me in more ways that I could ever count.  I am so thankful to serve the one true God.  The God who is alive!  This journey with Him is sometimes crazy, scary, and hard, but it is a blessing to be a little part in His big story!

All of You is More than Enough for Me

You, God, are my God,

    earnestly I seek you;

I thirst for you,

    my whole being longs for you,

in a dry and parched land

    where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sanctuary

    and beheld your power and your glory.

 

Because your love is better than life,

    my lips will glorify you.

 

I will praise you as long as I live,

    and in your name I will lift up my hands.

 

I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;

    with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

On my bed I remember you;

    I think of you through the watches of the night.

 

Because you are my help,

    I sing in the shadow of your wings.

 

I cling to you;

    your right hand upholds me.

Psalm 63:1-9

O God...I cling to you!  You hold me up.  You and you alone satisfy my soul. You are enough for me! You are enough!  In my pain you speak softly to my heart, and I know that you are enough.  In the tears you hold me up, and I know that you are enough.  In my joy I raise my hands and worship you, and I declare that you are enough.  In the darkness I cling to you to light my way, and I know that you are enough.    When I can't sleep at night, I think about your promises, and cling to the truth that you are enough.  I cling to the promise that no matter what this world gives me or takes away from me that I can be satisfied because you my God are more than enough!  I cling to you O God, and I declare that your love is better than life!