Have Faith

That evening the disciples came to him and said, "This is a remote place, and it's already getting late.  Send the crowds away so they can go to the villages and buy food for themselves." But Jesus said, "That isn't necessary - you feed them."  "But we have only five loaves of bread and two fish!" they answered.  "Bring them here," he said.  Then he told the people to sit down on the grass.  Jesus took the five loaves and two fish, looked up toward heaven, and blessed them.  Then, breaking the loaves into pieces, he gave the bread to the disciples, who distributed it to the people.  They all ate as much as they wanted, and afterward, the disciples picked up twelve baskets of leftovers.  About 5,000 men were fed that day, in addition to all the women and children!  Matthew 14:15-21

I love the power of our awesome God and Savior.  There is NOTHING too hard for Him.  He is so faithful to us.  When He calls us to something He provides us with what we need to do His work.  He told his disciples to feed the people.  They must have looked at Him like He was crazy.  You want us to feed all of these people with only 5 loaves of bread and two fish?  He says, Yes.  That is more than enough.

So often we look at situations that God calls us to and say, "You want me to do that?  I don't have enough to do that."  He looks at us and knows that what little we have is more than enough with His power.  I pray that in faith we will be able to look towards God when He calls us to do what we might believe is impossible and say, "Lord I don't have much, but what I do have I give it ALL to you.  I trust that with You it can be more than enough."

What baffles me even more about the disciples, and scares me that I am just like them, is that in the next chapter of Matthew the same situation comes up and they question again how they will feed so many people.

Then Jesus called his disciples and told them, "I feel sorry for these people.  They have been here with me for three days, and they have nothing left to eat.  I don't want to send them away hungry, or they will faint along the way."  The disciples replied, "Where would we get enough food here in the wilderness for such a huge crowd?"  Jesus asked, "How much bread do you have?"  They replied, "Seven loaves, and a few small fish."  So Jesus told all the people to sit down on the ground.  Then he took the seven loaves and the fish, thanked God for them,  and broke them into pieces.  He gave them to the disciples, who distributed the food to the crowd.  They all ate as much as they wanted.  Afterward, the disciples picked up seven large baskets of leftover food.  There were 4,000 men who were fed that day, in addition to all the women and children.  Matthew 15:32-38

I feel like Jesus gives them a chance to remember what He did just one chapter before.  He gives them a chance to say we have seven loaves of bread and a few fish, we know that is more than enough for you to feed them with.  He gives them a chance to remember how He has provided in the past.  He gives them a chance to say, we don't have much but we trust that if we give it to you that it is more than enough.  But instead they say, "Where would we get enough food here in the wilderness for such a huge crowd?"  I wonder if Jesus gets a little frustrated here with his disciples.  Had they already forgotten how He had fed 5,000+ with just 5 loaves and 2 fish not that long ago?

Now there are less people and even more food than the first feeding, yet the disciples forget the faithfulness and power of their Good Teacher.  Sometimes I think we can relate with the disciples.  How many times have we seen the faithfulness and provisions of our awesome God yet we forget what He has done for us?  We are faced with a situation where we think we don't have enough to be able to handle it, and all we need to do is turn to Him and say, "Lord I don't have much, but what I do have I give it ALL to you.  I trust that with You it will be more than enough."  How many times do we try to fix everything on our own and then turn to prayer as a last resort, instead of turning to God before we do anything on our own?

I pray that I will remember all that my Savior has provided for me and have faith.  I pray that I will turn first to Him before I do anything else.  I pray that I will bring what I have to the feet of my Jesus and say, "I don't have much, but what I do have I give it ALL to you.  I trust that with You it is more than enough."  I pray that I will never forget the power of my awesome God.  I pray that I will have faith in Him in ALL circumstances.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.  Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.  Ephesians 3:20-21

Dreams that Impact Eternity

This video is so very challenging to me.  Last week I went running through a nice neighborhood behind the church building and was looking at a bunch of beautiful houses.  I was thinking to myself, wouldn't it be nice to have a house like that.  But the more I thought about that the more I realized that that dream was for something temporary.  Don't get me wrong I think temporary dreams and goals are important, but are we dreaming about things that will impact eternity as well?

When I think about my dreams I want some of them to go far beyond this world.  I want my dreams to involve eternity.  I don't want to get caught up living so much for this world right now that I miss the bigger picture.  I want to give up the pleasures of this short short short temporary world for something that will never end.  How dumb is it for us to trade eternal awesomeness for just temporary gain?

So when I dream I pray that my dreams will look towards eternity.  I dream that I will help tons of people come to know my sweet savior more fully so that they can spend eternity with Him.  I dream that God will help me to meet the needs of thousands of starving people.  People who are starving physically and spiritually.  I dream that I will be able to take in orphans who need a family and somebody to show them love.  I dream that I will live in my saviors will with each breath that I take.  I dream that my life will be completely surrendered and led by the Holy Spirit.  I dream and eagerly anticipate the day when I will get to run into the arms of my Holy God.

Don't stop dreaming!  May our dreams affect eternity!

No Excuses

When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.  Luke 12:48

As I read through these verses and think about how much my God has given me I know that I have no excuse not to give much.  If you are sitting at a computer reading this that means you are part of the 22% of the world that has enough money to access the internet.  Most of you probably own the computer or phone that you are using to access the internet, which drops that percentage even more.  We are rich.  We have all been given much.  And to those who have been given much, much will be required in return.

So often we start comparing ourselves to the people around us. We say, "I'm not rich.  Look at what Susie has.  I don't have nearly as much as her.  She's rich."  The United States doesn't offer a fair comparison on the living conditions of the rest of the world.  News Flash, If you have enough money to have a roof over your head tonight and money for food to eat at least one good meal today then you have more than most people in this world.  And to those who have been given much, much will be required in return.

I have trouble believing that God looks at our wealth in terms of countries.  I don't think He says, "well she's only middle class in the United States so she really doesn't have that much." He's sees all His children as a whole.  We are all His and He cares about each of us enough that He gave up His son to die for us.  And to those who have been given much, much will be required in return.

We can do something about the fact that their are millions of little children with no food and no family all over the world.  We can do something about the little children living on the streets all over the world.  We can do something about the children suffering from preventable diseases.  These kids are not just statistics.  They are real people just like you and me.  They have names.  They have faces.  They feel pain and hurt.  They feel hunger.  They are somebodies kids.  They were created by our awesome God just like you and me.  How can we turn our backs on them?  We know that they are there.  We must realize that we have been given much.  And to those who have been given much, much will be required in return.

I was reading a book last night of a 23 year old single girl in Uganda who has adopted 13 orphans.  She was sharing how God commands us to take care of the orphans.  She then gave some statistics on how many orphans there are in the world and how many Christians there are in the world.  The final statistic said that if just 8% of the people in the world who claim to be Christians took care of 1 orphan that there would be no more orphans.  Just 8%!  God allows us to reach out and be a part of His plan to bring His kingdom to this earth.  He has given us so much.  And to those who have been given much, much will be required in return.

Physically we are blessed beyond belief.  I have running clean water!  I can open my mouth in the shower without fear of coming away with a parasite.  I bathe in water that most people in the world would LOVE to drink (before I bathe in it of course).  God has given us so much, but far greater than any physical blessing that He has given me, is the Gospel.

I have the Good News!  I have a savior!  I have the gift of eternal life.  I have a life here on earth filled with joy, peace, love, and so much more.  I have a song to sing.  And to those who are given much, much will be required in return.  I have been given far more than I could ever pay back.  In response to all that He has given me I want to give up this world and pick up my cross and follow Him.  I know that much is asked of me.  I want to sell out for my Savior.  He sold out for me.  I know that He has entrusted me with much.  I pray that I have the strength to be weak and humble and to give much to Him.  He has entrusted me with His story and I am so glad that He allows me to be a part of His awesome plan.

I must remember that when someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.

The thing I seek Most

I don’t know how He does it!  It’s truly amazing to me!  The way He knows me and captures my heart is indescribable.  He truly captivates me.  He has this way about Him.  He has this ability to make me feel like I’m the only person in the room even when I’m standing in an arena with more than 5,000 others.

Even when I can hear the 5,000 other people singing at the top of their lungs to our awesome God I don’t notice them.  It’s the weirdest thing.  I’m packed into an arena, but it’s as if it is just He and I.  His attention towards me is so real.  I know that He hears my heart, and I know that my heart hears His voice.  He is so real!  He is so good!  His name is so great and FULL of power!

It’s amazing to me how He can know each of us so FULLY!  That He can give us His undivided attention at all times.  That He can make us feel like the center of His attention.  That He can pour out His love on us and draw us so close.  So close that we feel like it’s just the two of us. 

He’s so captivating.  His love is so deep and so real.  I’m so thankful for the way He draws me into His presence.  Why would I ever want to leave?  I want more of Him. 

The one thing I ask of the Lord- the thing I seek MOST- is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lord’s perfections and meditating in his Temple.  For he will conceal me there when troubles come; he will hide me in his sanctuary, He will place me out of reach on a high rock.  Then I will hold my head high above my enemies who surround me.  At his sanctuary I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy, singing and praising the Lord with music.  Hear me as I pray; O Lord.  Be merciful and answer me!  My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.”  And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”  Do not turn your back on me.  Do not reject your servant in anger.  You have always been my helper.  Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me, O God of my salvation!  Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.  Teach me how to live, O Lord.  Lead me along the right path, for my enemies are waiting for me.  Do not let me fall into their hands.  For they accuse me of things I’ve never done with every breath they threaten me with violence.  Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living.  Wait patiently for the Lord.  Be brave and courageous.  Yes, wait patiently for the Lord. Psalm 27:5-14

I pray that I will desire to dwell constantly in His house just like David prayed.  May it be the one thing that I seek MOST.  May I delight in His presence and meditate on Him.  I don’t know why He desires me so much.  He draws me into Him and gives me His full attention.  It amazes me.  I am so blessed to be a daughter of the one true King.  May His name be praised.  May He be the thing I seek most! 

Perfect Peace

His peace surpasses all understanding.  My heart is overflowing with His peace.  It’s unlike anything I have ever experienced before.  Complete and perfect peace.  Each night as I come home to my empty quiet apartment and reflect on the day no matter the highs or the lows there is no escaping His peace.  There is no denying that He is God.   There is no denying His presence. I have complete and FULL trust in Him and He supplies me with perfect peace.

I crawl into bed and my mind starts to wander.  So many different things to think about, but in the midst of it all He is there.  And where He is, there is peace.  I have no clue what tomorrow is going to hold.  I’m not even guaranteed tomorrow, but I know that if He gives me another breath that He will be right there by my side.  He’s never let me take a single breath alone!  He is so good!  His faithfulness amazes me!

I had lunch with a friend this week and we started talking about money and stuff.  He asked me, “If you lost all of that do you really think you would be okay?”  I jokingly replied, “Of course.  My parents would take care of me.”  He replied with a, “That’s not what I meant.  Could you still be okay with God?”

If my relationship with God is dependent on money and stuff then we have a HUGE problem.  All I could say back to Him was, “You can take away all of the stuff.  You can take away the money.  You can even take my family.  But you can never take away what my Savior has done for me.  You can’t take me out of His presence.”  He is constant.  He is my peace. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for the blessings that God has poured out on me.  I’m so thankful for my family.  I’m so thankful that I don’t have to worry about having enough to get by.  I’m so thankful that I have a warm place to stay and a comfortable bed to crawl into each night.  God has blessed me with so much, but if all of that were taken away from me He would still be there.  He would still be God.  He would still be my savior; Therefore, I would still have hope. 

Sometimes things stink.  Sometimes life is hard.  Sometimes we feel like David in Psalm 13.

O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever?  How long will you look the other way?  How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day?  How long will my enemy have the upper hand?  Turn and answer me, O Lord my God!  Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.  Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying, “We have defeated him!”  Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall.  But I trust in your unfailing love.  I will rejoice because you have rescued me.  I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me.

Sometimes we don’t feel like singing.  Sometimes we feel like God has forgotten about us.  Sometimes life hurts, but I must choose to keep eternity in mind.  Everything here is temporary, and my God has given me an opportunity to live with Him for eternity!  I will look to Him and have hope. So even when life here stinks, I will trust in His UNFAILING love.  I will rejoice because He has rescued me.  I will sing to the Lord because He has been good to me.

With this comes peace.  I know someday we will escape this world for our true home.  I can’t wait to dwell in the house of the Lord for eternity.  I can’t imagine anything better! 

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me.  Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows.  But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”  -Jesus

Thank you Jesus!  Because of You we have hope.  Take heart!

Let my Lifesong Sing

Over the past month my roommate has been gone quite a bit, which leaves me coming home to an empty apartment most of the time.  I think most people would find this to be super lonely, but after a long day of constantly interacting with people it’s refreshing to come home to the stillness of my empty apartment.  My TV hasn’t been turned on in months other than to watch the Sooners kick booty each Saturday (I refused to watch their loss to TT last night)!  My Jesus has been teaching me to look for Him and praise Him in each and every moment that I get!  It’s been a joy to dwell in His presence with every open moment.

If you could put a hidden camera in my apartment and catch a glimpse of the interactions God and I have here in this quiet place I’m sure you would all get quite the laugh.  You would also need a pair of earplugs!  One minute I’m singing at the top of my lungs (hints the need for earplugs) and the next moment I’m silenced by His voice.  One moment I’m sitting peacefully listening to His Word, the next I’m dancing around my apartment like a 4 year old ready to open presents on Christmas morning overwhelmed with His joy!  One moment I can’t stop smiling and the next my heart is flooded with sorrow for this broken world.  He is in each and every moment.  Each breath that I take is filled with His life.  I have been created to worship Him.  There is never a moment where I am more alive than when I am worshipping my Savior.  It’s my purpose.  It’s what I have been created to do. 

So often we have this mindset that we worship on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights.  Which is true, we do!  But what about every breath I take between Sunday morning and Wednesday night?  Isn’t my life supposed to be worship to my God?  Why would I settle for just two times a week, when He invites me to worship Him with every breath that I take?

I don’t want to settle for anything less.  I want to be constantly aware of His presence.  I want to be full of life.  He came that I might have life and have it to the full.  Why would I settle for anything less?  I want to be constantly aware of His voice.  I want to be constantly praising Him.  I want the name of my sweet Jesus to be constantly on my lips.  I want my lifesong to sing to Him.  I want each beat of my heart to sing a song of praise to my God.  I want my heart to be alive and full of joy.

So my invitation to you is this, Come and glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name TOGETHER. (Psalm 34:3)  Come to the fountain and drink deep of His amazing love and unexplainable peace.  Come and be filled and overflow.  Come and praise His name with every breath.  He is so worthy of all we can give! 

Because your love is better than life, O Lord my lips will glorify you.  I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. Psalm 63:3-4

Something Worth Writing About!

I’m turning into such an old soul.  It’s Saturday morning and I want nothing more than to sleep in just enough, have a cup of coffee, bake some banana bread, and curl up on my couch with my laptop and Bible to write.  I don’t even know how this happened.  I mean, I was the teenager in high school who hated writing and whose worst subject was English.  It would take me days to produce a paper that would get me a decent grade.  My parents spent hours and hours reading over papers I wrote checking for thousands of grammatical errors.  I’m pretty sure I rarely finished a full book for my English classes.  Reading and writing were the death of me, but then something changed.

In college I started a prayer journal.  It was something I could do everyday to make sure I was spending time in prayer with my God.  It was also a huge blessing to be able to look back over the filled pages of prayers and see how God had answered.  In His faithfulness He always answers, not always with what I want…but ALWAYS with what He knows I need. 

Over the years my journals changed from a place of just prayer to a place where I chewed and meditated on Scripture.  It became a place where I could reflect on all God was doing in my life.  It became a place of extremely private conversations between my Creator and me. These 15 journals now occupy the top shelf of my bookshelf in my office.  If you read through these journals you could watch the journey of a young girl, who is trying so desperately to give each breath to her savior, unfold.   You could see the moments where I’m on top of the world and also the moments where I fell flat on my face. Some of the pages are even stained with tears as I cried out to my savior.  These journals became a place of raw and real emotion.  They are the place where I lay it all out before God and say, “here it is.”

Every few months I grab a random journal from the bookshelf and sit back in amazement as I read and see what my God has done.  His faithfulness towards me amazes me.  There is no way to explain it.  He is God!  He is good!

To see the way He delivers me is incredible.  I look back through some of the valleys where I was questioning why things were happening and now see how He was at work.  It reminds me time and time again that He deserves my FULL trust.  He has proven to me time and time again that He is faithful!!!

It’s amazing to me how He took a teenage girl who once hated writing and has placed a passion for it in her heart.  When I write I am able to think through and process all that my God has been showing me.  I’m able to connect with Him in a deeper way.  I’m able to remember how He has delivered me, and I get the opportunity to share my heart with others.  

I pray that each story that I write is a testament to who He is.  I pray that it will never be my story, but rather people will know that I am just a small character in His HUGE story.  I’m so thankful that He lets me be a part of something so great.  Praise Him for He is good.  He alone is God!

No such thing as Mass Production

So often in youth ministry it's tempting to fall into the trap of being focussed on the numbers.  It's tempting to try to measure success by the number of teens who show up to an activity.  It's tempting to try to put on a show that everyone will like. Recently I have been challenged to remember that the numbers don't matter nearly as much as the faithfulness of those who show up.  When those that were following Jesus left because His teachings were challenging and hard He didn't go running after them begging them to stay.  They liked to follow Him "when he filled their stomachs with bread and fish, but when Jesus started talking about the true spiritual quality of the Kingdom and the sacrifice necessary in achieving it, many of his followers walked away" (Coleman).  He knew that He was training leaders for the Kingdom, and if they were going to be His disciples then they were going to have to count the cost.  They had to be FULLY committed.


We have been called to make disciples just like Jesus made disciples.  You don't mass produce disciples!  When I read and think about Jesus's ministry I see how He poured himself into 12 men, and even one of those men turned his back on Jesus.  He made disciples by sharing His life with those who followed Him.  He knew that He had to train men who would be able to lead when His time on earth was done. "His concern was not with programs to reach the multitudes, but with men whom the multitudes would follow" (Coleman).


My fear is that we are too concerned about drawing huge numbers into our churches and not concerned enough with actually making disciples.  My fear is that our churches are full of believers instead of full of disciples.  My fear is that we show up to church on Sunday and Wednesday so that we will feel good about ourselves yet our faith costs us nothing.


I pray that I will live out Romans 12:1 And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you.  Let them be a living and holy sacrifice - the kind he will find acceptable.  This is truly the way to worship him. 


This isn't easy.  The cost is high.  I love what David says in 1 Chronicles 21:24.
But King David replied to Araunah, “No, I insist on paying the full price. I will not take for the LORD what is yours, or sacrifice a burnt offering that costs me nothing.”

May we delight in sacrificing everything to the God of the universe!

My prayer is that God will teach me and use me to disciple those He has placed in my life, and that I will allow His Spirit to speak through me boldly.  May I NEVER water down His perfect message to make it easier or more comfortable to hear.


Jesus's method for getting His name known throughout the whole world was to train up men and women as His disciples who would be fishers of men.  He wanted to make men and women who would make disciples who would make disciples who would make more disciples.  Jesus knew you don't mass produce disciples.  He knew they had to be committed and that they needed to know the cost.


Jesus shared His life with those He called to follow Him.  He showed them the cost of true discipleship.  He never asked them to give up anything that He hadn't already given up.  He told them they would be homeless....He already gave up His home.  He told them they would have to leave their families....He already left His father to be with them.  "They saw how their Master denied himself many of the comforts and pleasures of the world and became a servant among them.  They saw how the things they cherished - physical satisfaction, popular acclaim, prestige - He refused; while the things which they sought to escape -poverty, humiliation, sorrow, and even death - He accepted willingly for their sake" (Coleman).


His life was the classroom.  He didn't have to work up different teaching situations.  He just took advantage of the ones that arose.  His disciples were learning constantly from Him just because they were present with Him.  He knew 1 hour of preaching 2 times a week wasn't going to produce disciples.  He invested in those 12 average men whom He chose to follow Him.  Class with Jesus was never dismissed.  He knew that you don't mass produce disciples.


I pray that 2,000 years later we can still see the importance of making disciples.  It takes time and tons of patience, but it is what our Savior has commanded us to do.  It is what He showed us how to do!  I pray that we will realize that sometimes our best lessons are our lives.  We need to invite people to share in our lives with us.  Paul told people to follow him while he followed the Lord.  I pray that we will do the same.  I pray that we will be disciples who give up EVERYTHING for the sake of the kingdom.  May we never sell our Jesus too cheaply. The cost of following Him is high, but so is the reward. May we remember the command that our Jesus gave to us to make disciples, and may we follow in His footsteps as He teaches us how to spread His name throughout the WHOLE world!  

Disciples not Believers

Jesus came and told his disciples, "I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth.  Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.  Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you.  And be sure of this:  I am with you always, even to the end of the age."

So often we view the great commission as a calling.  A call to those who believe in Christ.  A call to those who feel led to the mission field.  A call to those feel led to ministry.  A call to those who are good speakers.  We say it's a calling for others, but this is so far from the truth.  The great commission can't be watered down to merely a calling to those who choose that it's for them.  It is a command to all who truly desire to follow Christ!  Jesus commands all those who are His disciples to GO. Go and make disciples!  Disciples produce fruit.  Disciples make disciples who make disciples who make disciples who make disciples who make disciples who make disciples until one day the WHOLE world has had the opportunity to hear of our awesome God.

When you produce much fruit you are my true disciples.  This brings great glory to my Father. John 15:8

Casey and I pray all of the time for our youth group that our teens won't just be believers, but that they will be disciples.  It's easy to believe all of the great things our Savior has done for us.  It's hard to follow His commands.  For this reason some people turned away and stopped following Jesus.  It's uncomfortable to follow Him to the cross.  Sometimes it's hard to give up what we can see in this world for something much greater that we can't see.  It's easy to believe in all the amazing and great things He brings, it's hard to follow after Him.  It's hard to keep all of His commands.  It's hard to be His disciples.  Thank goodness for His grace.

Jesus didn't tell us where we have to go, He just told us to GO.  He leads each of us to different places.  So often we forget that just because we weren't called to the foreign mission field doesn't mean that we aren't missionaries.  We are men and women of God on a mission.  Our mission is to make disciples!   Kroger, Walmart, my Zumba class, Morningside bagels, Starbucks, and every other place that I GO is my mission field.  I'm on a mission to share Christ with each of these people that I meet. We are surrounded with opportunities to share Christ with others.

One of my elders goes to eat at a certain Chinese restaurant a few times a month.  A couple of weeks ago we somehow got to talking about this place and he said, "Those people who work there don't know it yet, but they are going to become Christians."  He sees every place he goes as an opportunity to share Christ and make disciples who will make disciples who will make more disciples.

My aim as a follower of Christ is to love my God with all my heart, soul, and strength.  In response to all that He has done for me I shouldn't be able to help but tell people about my amazing savior.  I once was dead in my sin, but I have a savior who has conquered death and brings me life to the full.  This should be a message that I can't help but share!  I should do everything I can to follow His command and disciple those around me.

I have recently become obsessed with the song And Now my Lifesong Sings by Casting Crowns.  The last verse says, "I once was dead but now I live. I once was dead but now I live. I once was dead but now I live. Now my life to you I give. Now my life to you I give. Now my life to you I give. Hallelujah Hallelujah let my lifesong sing to you.  Hallelujah Hallelujah let my lifesong sing to you!

I pray that my lifesong will sing to Him!  I pray that my lifesong will sing for all to hear.

I pray that just as Jesus came and made/trained disciples that God will raise up men and women in our churches who will make disciples.  I pray that I wont just be training my teens to be comfortable believers, but that I will train them to be disciples who are willing to give up EVERYTHING for our awesome God and who will produce much fruit.  I pray that they will follow Him all the way to the cross.  I pray that they will be disciples who make disciples who make disciples who make disciples who make disciples until the WHOLE world has heard the sweet name of my Jesus.

Answered Prayers

This weekend we have our mission trip to Little Rock!  About 30 of my awesome teens have signed up to spend their weekend serving their community.  We are sleeping in our church building, eating in our church building, and even showering in our church building for the weekend!

Casey and I have been working on the details of this weekend for a while now.  We have had plans for the different places that we were going to work for weeks.  The past two days two of the different places that we were planning on helping called us and told us that they didn't need our help.  So much for having everything ready and taken care of!  No worries, this just gave us an opportunity to see God work out His plans!

Yesterday as plans started to fall through I spent some time praying that God would show us where to turn and who we could help.  My prayer was that someone would call us or stop us totally out of the blue asking for help.  I just knew that God was going to lead us somewhere special.

This morning as I walked into the church building I got stopped by a girl at church whom I had never spoken with before.  She started telling me about the Compassion Center and their need for volunteers.

When I got into the office Casey and I sat down in Cash's (our college minister) office to talk about the weekend.  He started telling us about a man that had emailed him just yesterday asking for a group of teens or college students to help with moving medical equipment this Saturday that is going to be sent to Haiti.

Boom!  Just like that God opened two doors for us to serve on Saturday. We didn't even have to go searching, He sent them to us.  The ways He works amaze me.  I know I only get to see a little bitty piece of the HUGE canvas that He paints on, but it always leaves me wanting more.

I'm so thankful that the God of the whole universe calls me to come and follow after Him.  What an honor to serve the most high King!  

Engraved

We all have those friends and family that we spend so much time with that we begin to be able to finish their sentences!  We start to look and act more and more like the people that we spend the most time around.  I remember a few years ago at Christmas we were playing our annual family game of Mexican Train dominoes (which I have won every year) and I had a moment that made me realize just how much I am turning into my mom.   It would be hard to find a better woman to turn into.  Something happened during the game of dominoes and my mom and I both started laughing and we started laughing the exact same way.  We both stopped at the exact same time and then sighed the exact same way.  Upon realizing what we had just done we started laughing again at the exact same time.  Over the past 23 years I have spent so much time with my parents and siblings that we sound alike and often say things alike.  I can usually tell you what my sister is about to say before she ever opens her mouth.  We know each other so well because we have spent so much time together.

I pray that this will be true of my relationship with my God as well.  I pray that I will listen to Him so much and read His Word so much that I will begin to look more and more like Him and that I will begin to sound more and more like Him.  I want my heart to look more like His.  I want to be so in touch with His will.  I want to love people like He loved.  I want to give the way He gives.  I want His words to flow from me as soon as I open my mouth.  But this can never be done through my power, it must be done through His Spirit for the glory of His Name.

"He must become GREATER; I must become less. John 3:30.  

I have so far to go and so much growing to do.  I know that this will never happen without effort.  He tells us that when we seek Him we will find Him if we seek Him with ALL of our hearts.  I'm so thankful that He doesn't hide from me when I come looking for Him.  I'm thankful that my Jesus has given me His Words to read.  What a blessing that He teaches me how to be more like Him.  It's not a mystery; He makes it clear! His word shows us how He spoke, loved, and lived.  May we seek His Words and treasure them in our hearts.  May we engrave them on our hearts so that when the storms and hard times come they don't just wash away, they endure! 

In the King's Presence

How amazing it is to be in the presence of The King!  His beauty amazes me.  I don't understand it!  It blows my mind that He desires me so much. It blows my mind that He draws me so close.  It blows my mind how He reveals Himself to me.  I can't even begin to understand how much He loves me. It makes me wonder if He really knows me, if He really knows all of the mistakes I have made. It makes me wonder if He has seen all of the times that I have denied Him when He has given me the opportunity to share His name.  It makes me wonder if He really knows that I killed His son. But then I remember... He created me.  He knows me better than anybody else.  He has never left my side.  He has seen the times I have screwed up and has given me opportunities to try again.  He knows every thought that I have ever had, and He loves me.

As I bow before Him I am reminded of how much I need a savior.  I could never save myself. Isn't it refreshing to know that we don't have to save ourselves.  We don't have to be somebody great.  We don't have to measure up.  So often the pressures of the world tell us to fight to be on top, that we have to be the best, and that if you can't do it by yourself then you aren't strong enough.  When I come to my savior He asks me to totally reverse that.  He says humble yourself before me.  He says I am the best and the only true God.  He says I know you can't do it by yourself that's why I am here and in your weakness I am strong enough. I trust that His grace is more than enough for me!

I still don't understand it and I know that I never will, but I will choose to live in His love!  I will choose to bow before His throne.  I will choose to follow my king.  I know that better is one day in His court than thousands elsewhere.  O how I long and look forward to spending eternity in His courts!

My Daddy always told me Life isn't fair!

This week for one of the Bible studies I have been doing we were asked to read Isaiah 53 and replace all of the our/us/we with my/me/I.  Reading through Isaiah 53 with the words changed sounds like this...

"He was despised and rejected - a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief.  I turned my back on him and looked the other way.  He was despised and I did not care.  Yet it was my weaknesses he carried; it was my sorrows that weighed him down.  And I thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins.  He was beaten so I could be whole.  He was whipped so I could be healed.  I like a sheep have strayed away.  I have left God's path to follow my own.  Yet the Lord laid on him all of my sins."  Isaiah 53:3-6

Wow!  How often I forget all that my Savior has done for me!  So often I place the blame for his death on the sins of others and forget that I am equally deserving of hell.  Without His grace I have no hope.  I am guilty.  It was my weaknesses he carried.  It was my sorrows that weighed him down.  He was beaten so I could be whole.  He was whipped so I could be healed.

So often we complain that life isn't fair.  You want to know what's not fair, that Jesus took on all of my sins and sorrows and was crucified on the cross when he did NOTHING wrong yet I get the reward of heaven.  Praise God that life isn't fair!  If life was fair I would have no chance of heaven. My savior has done far more for me than I could ever repay.

Robbins says it like this, "The closer we are to the blazing light of Christ's holiness, the more we will be aware that we fall pitifully short of his righteous standard."

In 1 Timothy 1:15-17 Paul writes "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners - of whom I am the worst.  But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his UNLIMITED patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.  Now to the king eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever!"

Thank you Jesus for saving me!  Without you I have no hope.  You have transformed my life.  I need your grace.  I need you.  Only through you do I have any power.  Only through you do I have life to the FULL!  Only through you do I have the hope of heaven!

Holy God, I pray that I will never forget the significance of the sacrifice of your son on the cross.  Thank you for not being fair!  

My Girls

This is just a little glimpse of why I have the best job in the world.  I love these girls so much!

I hope and pray that they will fall more and more in love with God each and everyday!

God has been so incredibly good to me!  He has called me to love and disciple these girls and has filled me with more love for them than I ever knew was possible.  They truly are my little sisters.  I am so blessed that we get to share our lives together!  

What's the Plan?

How long are you going to be here?  What's your plan? These are probably the two questions I get asked most frequently here at Pleasant Valley.

My plan?  Do I have to have a plan?

I learned a few years back that when I make plans God often changes them.  I had planned on moving to Honduras after college and God showed me very clearly that His plan and my plan were not the same.  That was an extremely humbling lesson to learn.  Since then I have tried to stop planning.  My only plan is to try to follow Him.  My plan is to go where He calls me.  I don't know what that is going to look like tomorrow, and I for sure don't know what that is going to look like 10, 20, or 30 years from now.  I LOVE my job at PV and I would feel blessed by God to be able to stay here for 20 years, but if He calls me to leave here tomorrow and follow Him somewhere else I must go.  I must trust that He holds tomorrow and that He will lead me where He wants me to be.  There is no greater joy than knowing God and knowing that you are living in His perfect will.  

I know that He will make it clear to me when He has completed through me at PV what He has desired to do through me here.  I also believe that when that happens He will open up another door for me to serve Him somewhere else.  I have no clue where that is going to be, but that's okay because I know that He will provide and that He will go with me there. He has given me a peace that I can't even begin to explain.  

So my plan is to trust in Him with each breath that I take.  My plan is to seek Him with ALL of my heart. My plan is to allow His Spirit to control my life.  My plan is to wait on the Lord!  My plan is to pray for His guidance and understanding.  My plan is to allow Him complete control.  He is my plan!

I'm sure there will be moments when I forget who is truly in charge or when I fight for control.  I am thankful for the patience and grace of my Shepherd who brings me back to the flock when I stray off and think I can do it all on my own.  He knows what is best for me and I know that He will not withhold good from me.  I pray that I will learn to fall humbly before His throne and say, "not my will but yours be done."

So to answer the questions...I will be here till my Savior leads me somewhere else.  I don't know where or when that will be.  I have no plan, I just have faith in my God.  For me that is more than enough!  

Private Life

Tonight as we sang praises to The Most High God, He revealed something to me that in my head I already knew, but I'm not sure my heart had been totally convinced of.  Even though it was something I was aware of, it wasn't something that I had truly embraced.  


As we were standing there singing I paused to pray and I heard His sweet voice say to me..."What you do with me in private affects what I do through you in public." 


I am so worthless without Him.  Only through Him, and Him alone, do I have any ability.  I am so weak, but He is my strength.  Am I truly depending on His power to do something GREAT, or am I depending on my weakness to do something average?  


Am I soaking in His presence?  Am I fully embracing all that my God is giving me, or am I telling Him,  "well, I don't need all of that God.  I don't need all of that time with you.  I can handle this on my own." How prideful can I be?  I should be longing to be in His presence and in His Word constantly.  I don't mean in His presence like O I'm alive and living in His presence and that's good enough.  I mean truly taking the time to silent everything and be FULLY PRESENT in His presence.  I desire that.  I desire that private life with my God.  I desire to spend hours on my face and knees listening to Him and pouring my heart out to Him daily.  I desire to engrave His words on my heart for eternity.  I desire to be FULLY PRESENT in His presence.  


He invites me to come to Him!  The KING of this universe invites me to come before Him.  How many of us would ever decline an invitation from an earthly prince or king?  I'm pretty sure if prince Harry invited us to a personal dinner we would clear our schedules and do whatever we had to to get there.  Well the KING of the entire universe has invited us into His presence shouldn't we clear our schedules and do whatever we can to get there?  It's a personal invitation to talk with the KING!


Today Francis Chan spoke from John 15.  This chapter has been following me around recently, and I LOVE it!  


“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5


Apart from Him I can do NOTHING.  Apart from Him I produce NO fruit.  I will never produce anything real if I do not abide in Him.  I don't want to produce fake fruit.  I want it to be real!  My private life with my savior matters.  People in scripture who spent time alone with God did amazing things for God.  He is key.  My private relationship with my savior affects EVERYTHING!  


If I'm truly being honest with myself I have a long way to go with this.  I desire my Jesus.  I desire my God, but so often my actions say I desire this world.  Actions truly do speak louder than words. If I want to produce His fruit then I must run to Him above all and before all. I must turn off the noise of the world and dwell in the Shelter of The Most High God. I must clear my schedule and do whatever it takes to meet and be FULLY PRESENT in the presence of my King.


I desire to bear His fruit, but I can't do that apart from Him.  Verse one of John 15 says, The Father cuts off every branch that bears no fruit.  In verse 6 it says those branches get thrown into the fire.  I know with all of my heart that I do not want to get thrown in the fire.  My God has so much more planned for me, but I must abide in Him or I will produce no fruit and be of no use.


So I am challenged to be FULLY PRESENT in His presence at every chance I get.  May I learn to abide in Him so that He may produce fruit in me; apart from Him I will produce NOTHING! 


My private life with God Almighty affects what He does through me in public!


God I pray that our private life will be intimate.  That I will learn to abide fully in you.  That I will be FULLY PRESENT in your presence.  That I will do whatever I can to clear my schedule and be with you!