I’m turning into such an old soul. It’s Saturday morning and I want nothing more than to sleep in just enough, have a cup of coffee, bake some banana bread, and curl up on my couch with my laptop and Bible to write. I don’t even know how this happened. I mean, I was the teenager in high school who hated writing and whose worst subject was English. It would take me days to produce a paper that would get me a decent grade. My parents spent hours and hours reading over papers I wrote checking for thousands of grammatical errors. I’m pretty sure I rarely finished a full book for my English classes. Reading and writing were the death of me, but then something changed.
In college I started a prayer journal. It was something I could do everyday to make sure I was spending time in prayer with my God. It was also a huge blessing to be able to look back over the filled pages of prayers and see how God had answered. In His faithfulness He always answers, not always with what I want…but ALWAYS with what He knows I need.
Over the years my journals changed from a place of just prayer to a place where I chewed and meditated on Scripture. It became a place where I could reflect on all God was doing in my life. It became a place of extremely private conversations between my Creator and me. These 15 journals now occupy the top shelf of my bookshelf in my office. If you read through these journals you could watch the journey of a young girl, who is trying so desperately to give each breath to her savior, unfold. You could see the moments where I’m on top of the world and also the moments where I fell flat on my face. Some of the pages are even stained with tears as I cried out to my savior. These journals became a place of raw and real emotion. They are the place where I lay it all out before God and say, “here it is.”
Every few months I grab a random journal from the bookshelf and sit back in amazement as I read and see what my God has done. His faithfulness towards me amazes me. There is no way to explain it. He is God! He is good!
To see the way He delivers me is incredible. I look back through some of the valleys where I was questioning why things were happening and now see how He was at work. It reminds me time and time again that He deserves my FULL trust. He has proven to me time and time again that He is faithful!!!
It’s amazing to me how He took a teenage girl who once hated writing and has placed a passion for it in her heart. When I write I am able to think through and process all that my God has been showing me. I’m able to connect with Him in a deeper way. I’m able to remember how He has delivered me, and I get the opportunity to share my heart with others.
I pray that each story that I write is a testament to who He is. I pray that it will never be my story, but rather people will know that I am just a small character in His HUGE story. I’m so thankful that He lets me be a part of something so great. Praise Him for He is good. He alone is God!
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