Home sweet Home

We always laugh at this picture
because it looks like Dad is
in a wheel chair.

Tonight I'm going to jump on an airplane and spend 6 hours traveling to OKC when it would only take me 5 hours to make it there in a car.  Although it will take me a little longer to fly there,  I am so very thankful for the time that I will be able to sleep and read while being a few thousand feet in the air, those things would be very difficult to accomplish safely while driving.  I am so very excited to see my family, but every time I make this trip "home" it is always hard for me to leave.  I have been blessed with what I truly believe is the best family in the world!
I have a little sister who is my absolute best friend in the entire world.  We are nothing alike, but we are everything alike at the same time.  My brother and I are so very close, and he happened to marry one of my best friends, which makes liking the sis-in-law super easy!  My mom and dad are two of the most caring people in the whole world.  They have taught me the importance of being kind, working hard, dreaming big, serving others, and loving my God with ALL my heart, soul, and mind.  I thank my awesome God for my family.  It is always a blessing to spend a few days with them, laughing and catching up on life.  
Through moving to Little Rock a year and a half ago my God has taught me some very important things about "home" and "family". I grew up in OKC and never lived more than 10 minutes from my church my whole life.  Oklahoma City was my home for the first 21 years of my life.  It felt like home, I was comfortable there, I didn't get lost while driving there, my friends were there, and my family was there as well.  When I moved to Little Rock I hit a weird transition.  OKC wasn't home anymore, but Little Rock didn't really feel like home either.  After the first year of living here I became way more familiar with Little Rock, no longer got lost every time I tried to get somewhere new, made some great new friends, and I had a job here; but Little Rock still didn't feel like home.  As I struggled with this concept of where home is for me I believe that my God revealed to me that there is no place on this earth that is suppose to be my home.  It is okay that I don't feel at home in OKC, and it is okay that I don't feel at home in Little Rock because truly this world is not my home.  This realization has given me a hunger for my true home in Heaven that I had never experienced before moving away from "home".  I love knowing that my Awesome God has prepared something so much better than this world for me, and that one of these days I am going to run to my only Home to see Him.


The other thing that God has revealed to me while living in Little Rock is the cost of discipleship.  As I mentioned earlier, I have the best family in the whole wide world.  I love them so much, and often times I miss them like crazy.  I miss having slumber parties with my little sister, I miss kicking everyone's booty in Mexican Train dominos, I miss playing basketball in the driveway with my Dad, I miss family dinner and bowling, I miss going to church and sitting with my parents and siblings, I miss holding hands during the closing prayer, I miss coming home to a hug and a kiss from my mom each day, and I miss just sitting around and laughing with my family; but God has called me to Little Rock and so I will miss my family, but thank Him for the beautiful family He has given me here through the Church.  


A few months back I was having a really hard month and my family got together and sent me a surprise care package.  Inside the box was 28 little gifts and over 30 separate notes.  The box didn't come with instructions so I didn't know that I was only suppose to open 1 note each day for the entire month so I opened all 30 of them right there on the spot!  I was just so excited, I couldn't help myself. 


A few weeks back I spotted all of the notes on my dresser and decided to open them up and read them.  As I laid on my bed reading through all of the notes from my family I started to tear up.  For those of you who know me, you know that it doesn't take too much to make me tear up so that isn't too weird, but this time was different.  As I'm lying on my bed I started to pray, and I poured out my heart to my patient and loving Lord.  I told Him how much I miss my family and how difficult this past year away from them has been. I told Him how much I love them and how thankful I am for them. Right after I tell my God how much I love my family I hear His voice that I know so well speak straight to my heart.  He said to me, "I know you love your family, but you love me more right?"  His voice was so clear, and it spoke directly to my heart.  I sat there on my bed and told my sweet Savior, "Yes, I love you more than them. Send me wherever you want me to go." I remember the words of my Bold Jesus that He spoke to His followers in Matthew 10:37-39- Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.  Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." 

So here I am in Little Rock, but Little Rock is not my home.  My home is not in this world, it's being prepared for me in heaven.  I don't know where my Powerful God is going to call me to next, but I know that wherever He leads me I must go, because He above all is the desire of my heart.  I am so thankful for my incredible family, but I pray that I will never make them an idol before my Lord and Savior.  I pray that I will daily choose to pick up my cross and follow my Jesus.  May I always remember that the cross isn't comfortable and ultimately it led my Jesus to His death.  May I be willing to follow Him ALL the way to the end.